Monday, October 24, 2011

Awakening: The Struggle

MARK YOUR CALENDARS!!!! December 4th, 6-8pm, at the U of W!

I am hoping to have a few entries in the show, but we'll see... I have a few songs, a reading, and possibly some picture ideas, but I'll have to go through my albums and take a picture walk. Or two. Or three or four or more... =P

Pretty excited! I'll be sure to keep y'all up to date! =)

Friday, October 21, 2011

Test 1, 2, 3 (Anything But That...)

So, I'm trying to set up my blog so that only certain people can see it... I'm not sure if I've done it right, so this post is a test.

PS the title is totally a reference to the musical Rent, in case you didn't catch that =P



Update: Woohoo it worked! =D Also, if I've sent your invite to the wrong email addy (and you're viewing this with that wrong email addy), leave me a comment or send me an email (margnis@hotmail.com) with the email you want to view this with. Thanks! =)

Thursday, October 20, 2011

BAM!

Internet has arrived! Thank you, Shaw technician man! =D

Expect more blog posts more often, yay! =D

Monday, October 17, 2011

I Feel

Broken.
Torn.
Hurt.
Confused.
Angry. At everything and yet at nothing at all.
Scared.
Closed in.
Trapped.
Alone. Even surrounded by people.
Small.
Insignificant.

I know these are not true, but it's how I'm feeling. I'm recognising that I'm getting to a low point again, I've been trying really hard these past couple weeks to fight it, but I'm getting tired.

People keep telling me to give it up to God. I do! The problem is, I snatch it back. It's such a struggle to leave it in His hands...

I've done so much baking this past weekend, I had to use up my pumpkin, but I also had to keep myself busy and distracted. I always do that... I'm afraid to face my storms cuz I'm afraid that I will get lost in them.

I want to be very clear on this right now. I have not intentionally hurt myself, nor do I plan to. Thoughts are there, yes, but I do not want to put them into action. But in saying that, I can definitely understand why cutters cut, I imagine it would be a big release. I say it again: I am not going to intentionally hurt myself.

Please pray for me... I'm not willing to share publicly yet, but there is a lot happening in my world right now, it's really hard to process it and deal with it all at once... I know that I will have better days, I just gotta get past these harder days first...