Saturday, December 19, 2009

Christmas Memories

This past Tuesday, my roomies and I had our potluck/secret Santa gift exchange. It was really nice and really fun! =) But it got me thinking on other Christmas memories, and most of them are not so great... The two that stand out the most for me are the one year (can't remember when, but prolly 2003...) when my mom and Wayne fought pretty much all day, and then 2004...

In 2003 (or whatever year it was, I'll just say '03...) the fighting started right at the breakfast table. I don't even remember what they were fighting about, but I was sitting at the dining room table and they were in the kitchen literally screaming at each other... and I remember screaming at them, "THIS IS CHRISTMAS, YOU SHOULDN'T BE FIGHTING!!!" and I ran upstairs and hid in my room for a while... I hated that Christmas...

And then of course, Christmas 2004 was when Wayne was sick... He went to the States to spend Christmas with his sisters because we all knew the end was near and we wanted him to spend that last Christmas with his biological family so he could say his goodbyes. He ended up in the hospital for a few days down there, but made it back here before New Years, and went straight into the hospital again, and never came out. He died January 3, 2005. Worst memory of my life. And every Christmas since then has been really hard, though it is getting easier... I never forget him, but it is getting easier... Even now as I'm typing this, I have tears running down my face... I miss you so much Wayne... ='( I know he's with Jesus, that was made very clear to me the day that Faye spoke at the Bible dedication at church, and I am glad that he doesn't have to live in pain in his earthly body anymore, but it still hurts.... I miss his stupid little laugh lol, I miss how most of his shirts had at least a little bit of pink, I miss being silly with him in a way I was never able to be silly with my mom, I miss riding with him in his truck, I miss his jokes, I miss his hugs, I miss how he would always come visit me at work on Wednesdays when he was in town, I miss our Sunday lunches that were just me and him... He was like a father to me, he was my dad. Of course he wasn't perfect, nobody ever is, but he was my dad.

When I think about everything I've been through, everything I've dealt with, everything I've overcome since he died, I can only say that it is by God's grace that I am who I am today... I often think about what he would think about things I've done, choices I've made... I can honestly say that when I look at my life, I know he'd be proud of me. I know he'd be proud of me no matter what I do or what I choose. It's comforting to know that he's up in Heaven, hanging out with Jesus, watching over me. Lol I can almost imagine him talking with other people up there, saying, "Hey look, that's Stacey, that's my daughter!"

I know I've said this before, I've said it many times, but I know that God sent Wayne into my life for a purpose. Even though he was only around for what seems like a few short years (it was actually about 10 years, wow...), it was through him that God showed me what it's like to have a father. Now I'm able to make the connection between God and Father, because I've experienced it in my family. Now I can truly understand what it means to call God Abba,(which is actually more like Daddy rather than Father... More intimate, wouldn't you say? I mean, a father could just be a sperm donor, but it takes a relationship to be a daddy.

Speaking of fathers... I've been doing a lot of thinking about my own biological father... I still don't really know what to do with that... It's been a year now since my mom made that first step of contact with him... I've found him on Facebook cuz my mom got me to look up his email address one time... I wonder if he's found me... Hmmm.... If - IF - I were to contact him, I'd prolly send him a FB message... I've found my younger half-brother too... I saw him when he came with his dad to Weston that one time, but I never met him...

Anyways, I think I'm done with this entry... I still need to fold my laundry and get some cards done before I head to bed... I'm very much looking forward to going to Weston in the morning! =D Especially since I missed it last week cuz I was sick... Until next time! =)

Sunday, December 6, 2009

"It's Only Through Your Mercy..."

Jesus I thank You for everyone You've sent my way this week... Even though none of them really know what's going on, they were there reassuring me, praying with me and for me, loving me, even when I tried to push them away. I cannot thank them enough for what they've done for me, without them, Lord, it is them who have given me the hope and the will to keep going... Thank you for sending them... Help me show them how grateful I am for them all!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Does This Ever End?

This past week has kinda sucked... Some stuff from the past that I thought I had gotten through has come up again, feelings, temptations... Ugh... I don't even know what triggers this... I know I'm not alone, but sometimes it feels like I am... I hate talking to people about it when it's going on cuz I don't wanna burden them with my problems when they have their own problems to deal with...

I wanted to talk to my roommates about it tonight, but one is working tonight (overnight), another is on such a God-high right now, and the other was completely exhausted when she got home... And I don't wanna call someone cuz I hate talking on the phone... So I find myself almost isolating myself, when that is the last thing I should be doing...

I knew this would eventually come up again, I thought I had worked through the major issues that have been problems in the past... And yet here I am having to deal with them still... Is there ever an end to this?

I feel so inadequate and unaccomplished... What the heck am I doing with my life? I've missed out on so much, I've passed up so many things... I'm so unmotivated to do anything...

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Kettle Update!

My last post was a bit of what I love about doing kettles... Well, I'd really like to blog each week about things that happen whilst I'm on kettles... Here goes! =)

This week went by really fast!!! I've chatted with so many people, had prayers answered, and had a really great time! =) Some of the things that people say really touch me =) Here's some examples:
As a lady puts in a handful of dimes, nickels and pennies: "I ran out of loonies and toonies, but every little bit helps right?"
One of the Superstore employees, seeing me there for the third day in a row: "Don't you ever go home? ;)"
A little girl that put a loonie in this morning said, "Merry real Christmas!!!"

Being on kettles is a great opportunity to make connections with the community!!! I've had little chats with so many different people about different things! Here's some stories:

One lady that came by on Thursday told me she will always give to the Salvation Army because when she was 6 or 7 she started going to the SA church that was on Marion (it's not there anymore...), and that is where she went to her first Sunday School classes!
Another girl that had finished her shopping had no cell phone and no quarters to phone a taxi, so she came to me and I let her use my phone. She was so grateful, and she put her whole change purse worth of pennies and nickels into the bubble!
A man asked me what rank I was in the Salvation Army, and we had a conversation on what the ranks are in the SA and how they compare to the real army. But I was also given the opportunity to explain to him that we are in spiritual warfare, and we - the Salvation Army - are fighting for peoples' souls!
Another guy that donated put his hands on my shoulders and said, "God loves you!!!" and I nearly fell off my chair with excitement as I said back, "God loves you too brother!!!"
Emmanuel is the Superstore host (the greeter at the front door) that has been there almost everyday that I've worked, and we got talking about how he will always give to the Salvation Army because they helped his family back in the Philippines with the flood that happened this year... Lol he also calls me Miss Salvation, when I get there in the morning he's like, "Good morning Miss Salvation!" He puts his pocket change in the bubble every morning after I get set up, and he always does a cute little dance lol... =)
A couple who are both on disability put in a toonie each because the Salvation Army has helped them and they want to give back!

Prayers have also been answered!!! Each morning when I set up the bubble, I pray over it, asking God to bless it and to fill it... Sometimes I ask for certain things, and today I prayed that someone would put in a $20 bill. Between 9-1, THERE WERE FOUR OF THEM PUT IN!!! My biggest prayer right now (since day 1 actually) is that I will see a $100 bill put in the bubble...
I've been asked by so many people where my bells were and why I wasn't ringing them... I wasn't given bells, I assumed that it was because Superstore had said they didn't want them so the staff wouldn't get annoyed at the constant ringing so I hadn't said anything to my boss... But yesterday, a gentleman bought me some silver bells!!! It was a big red bow with some bells hanging down, cost $3, and he brought it to me (with the receipt to prove it was paid for), and said, "There you go, now you can ring your bells!" So I took the ribbon off and played with the strings the bells were on and made a sort of bell ringer LOL hey it works! What amazed me about this story was how much the bells mean to people! "Kettles just aren't kettles without the silver bells!" is what one person had told me...
I also had a lot of people ask me for a sticker to put on their jacket to show other kettlers that they had already donated... One guy even said that there's two benefits to the stickers: one, it advertises to other people that hey, they should go donate, and two, it does let other kettlers know that they've already donated and so they won't feel guilty as they walk by the bubble. One woman even came up to me the other day and showed me that she had a mini calendar because she had donated and she didn't want me to think she was being cheap. Another lady came to me today and asked for a sticker for her jacket because she had donated before and only got a calendar (she showed it to me lol).

Speaking of people feeling guilty... haha... I kinda feel bad for making people feel guilty... As a kettler, I make eye contact with people and smile at them, and sometimes it makes people feel guilty and so they'll donate... I do not, in any way, want to guilt people into donating... I love smiling at people because when they see a smile, it's a natural reaction to smile back, and I LOVE seeing people smile!!! In sociology class I remember learning about the "dog face", which is when your face is relaxed, which makes you look grumpy (because you're not smiling...), and so many people coming through the doors are wearing their dog faces (or they are actually grumpy lol...), and it's amazing to see the transformation of a dog face to a smiling face, to see their whole persona just brighten up!!! There are some people that walk by that look like they would NEVER smile, but then they smile, and I'm like, "WOO!!! =D"

As much as I completely love this job though, I am VERY glad for a day off tomorrow =) For one, working 6 days in a row where I basically just sit for 4 hours on a bar stool isn't that great for the body... And second, I get to go to Weston!!! =D And this week is the first week of Advent, can you believe it??? AND the band is playing now (because it's Advent...), so I get to pull my clarinet out again, woop!

Anywho, that's all I have for now... This next week is looking pretty good
Sunday: church, play practice
Monday: kettles 9-1, dyeing Shayani's hair (whether or not she decides to go through with it, I'll tie her down if I have to... =P)
Tuesday: kettles 9-1
Wednesday: kettles 9-1, coffee date with Sherrie @ 2, pool @ 7:30 (though I gotta be at Players by 6:45 cuz we're away this week...)
Thursday: ketles 9-1
Friday: kettles 9-12 (woop!), Smitty's @ 3
Saturday: kettles 9-1, Smitty's @ 3

For now though, it's bedtime!!! =)

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Kettles

I've been doing kettles for almost a week now (I started last Thursday), and I must say that I love it!!! There's so many aspects of doing kettles, I look forward to doing it all again the next day! I'm currently working Mon-Sat 9am-1pm at Superstore McPhillips, and it is awesome!!!

I think the thing I love the most about doing kettles is hearing peoples' stories. I've had mostly good stories, and one bad one that really bummed me out... This lady refused to donate and told me her story: her husband was sick at Seven Oaks Hospital, and she parked in the Salvation Army Thrift Store parking when she came to be with him. The thrift store staff then towed her car and it cost $85 to get it back. But before I could even say anything, she was gone. It broke my heart because she is now so blind to all the good the Salvation Army is doing! I can still hear her last words she said: "THAT is what the Salvation Army does for people..." I wanted to cry!!! I wanted to run up to her and show her my tears, and tell her MY story of what the SA has done for me and for many people I've met over the years! And I couldn't, she was gone...

But I've also heard many awesome stories of how the SA has helped people! Mostly people have told me about how the SA helped them or their parents/grandparents when they came back from overseas... One gentleman told me of how the SA helped him when he arrived back in Halifax from Yugoslavia. Another lady told me how she will always give to the SA because of how they helped her grandparents. Every story I am told fills me with so much warmth and love!

I think the biggest reason I've heard from people on why they donate is because it is such a good cause! It really is, and it excites me to seee people opening their wallets to help others! One gentleman today put a loonie in the bubble, and he said to me, "This is all I have, I can't afford much more because I can barely afford to feed myself..." There was another guy who came by yesterday who fit the homeless stereotype perfectly: dirty, a bit smelly, clothes full of holes... and he came by and put a quarter in the bubble and left. I was shocked, I almost fell off my stool!!!

I think my favourite thing to see is when parents give their children some coins to put in the bubble. I love hearing seeing the parents taking the time to teach their children about helping those in need!!! It's so cute when the kids ask, "why is she sitting there?" and their parents explaining to them that it's for the poor. Oh my gosh, the other day I nearly cried because this little girl came and put in a loonie that her mother had given her, then her mother explained what it was for, and a few minutes later she came running up to me because she found a nickel on the floor and she wanted to put it in the bubble. She said to me, "They need it more than I do...." LOL I wanted to wrap this little girl up and the biggest hug ever!!!

Sure, this job can get boring sometimes in between the stories... The last half an hour of my shift tends to feel a lot longer than a half hour... But it is sooooo worth it!!! Lord, bless the people who donate, touch the hearts of those who don't, but most of all, multiply and use this money for Your good!!!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

"God on the Mountain" Lynda Randle

I learned a new song at church this morning! It's called "God on the Mountain" and although the only version I could find is gospel, the way we did it this morning was slower and more thoughtful I found... The words really hit me today, it was such a wonder to just stand there and listen, it was beautiful!!! Here's the lyrics:

Life is easy when you're up on the mountain
And you've got peace of mind like you've never known
But things change when you're down in the valley
Don't lose faith for you're never alone

For the God on the mountain is still God in the valley
When things go wrong, He'll make them right
And the God of the good times is still God in the bad times
The God of the day is still God in the night

You talk of faith when you're up on the mountain
But talk comes so easy when life's at its best
Now it's down in the valley of trials and temptations
That's where your faith is really put to the test

For the God of the mountain is still God in the valley
When things go wrong, He'll make them right
And the God of the good times is still God in the bad times
The God of the day is still God in the night

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Hot Chocolate and Eggnog =)

I'm sitting here at the kitchen table sipping on some - you guessed it - hot chocolate with eggnog, so delicious =) But I haven't just been sitting here, I've been thinking... Thinking about all the stuff I should get done: fold my clean laundry, catch up on "Heroes" and "House", finish Sherrie's project, figure out what to do for the last two projects I need to get done by the end of next month (then after those, I have Florence's eight grandkids' names to stitch, another project...), and that's only stuff to do in my spare time...

I've been thinking about what I really want to do in terms of a job... I do love working in the kitchen, but I'm seriously getting very tired and frustrated with Smitty's... True, I did get things worked out with my kitchen manager about shifts, so I may stick around a bit longer to see how things go now... And right now I'm doing 15 hours a week on kettles (though the girl that was supposed to take over after my shift backed out, so I'm trying to see if I can get a few more hours...) I think that if things at Smitty's work out the way I hope (I was told I'd be working Thursday-Saturday evenings, which is great cuz Thursdays are busy wing nights and Fridays are busy dinners....), I should get at least - the very minimum - 10 hours a week, but hoping for more like 15... plus the 15 hours on kettles (maybe more?), that should be good =)

But kettles only go until December 24th, and so I'd need to either work something else out with my kitchen supervisor, or find another part-time job. I do have my name in at the daycare that runs out of my church as a casual, but I need to get the paperwork done for that... Right now up til Christmas - because of doing kettles 5 days a week - I'm really only available Fridays, which I told the director that... So I was thinking after Christmas, if I could get set hours at Smitty's - a couple day shifts and a couple evenings - then I could give a couple more days of availability at the daycare...

But speaking of Christmas, Christmas is coming up, and it's coming up FAST!!! I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing yet, but I'm pretty sure I'll be going to my aunt's for Christmas dinner - it's a family tradition =) But I need to get at least cards for my aunts/uncles/cousins/grandmother... lol... And something for my mom... She does have her wishlist up on her fridge, but her fridge is at her house, and it's not like I'm there all the time... ;) I think though that I'll stop by there on Saturday before work and take a quick peek... As for Christmas morning, I'm not sure what I'll do, if I'll spend Christmas Eve at my mom's, or if I'll go over around noon or something... I don't know, I'll work it out with her when the time comes lol... I think I'd prefer to just go over on Christmas rather than spending the night...

Christina's going home for Christmas (though I'm not exactly sure when she'll be leaving and coming back...), and Debby has decided to stay here for Christmas (she was debating whether she wanted to go home to Ontario or not), but Debby will be going to Shayani's for dinner, so I'm kinda hoping we can spend Christmas Eve (or if Christina leaves earlier, then an earlier date...) together as a house... We are planning to have a Secret Santa here with a limit of like $15-20... But I guess we'd have to get on that, picking names, so we actually have time to go shopping!!! =P

Well, I think that's about it for now... So to end this post, I have a picture! Tonight I was working on Sherrie's project at the kitchen table, and when I looked up, I saw such a beautiful sunset, the clouds were all pink and pretty!!! So I went upstairs to the bathroom (which is the only upstairs room that has a window facing west), opened the window and took the screen out to get a great shot! And since it's so hard to capture the actual colour of a sunset, I played with the colours a bit on my computer to get a better image of the beautiful colours!!! =)




Monday, November 16, 2009

Pumpkin Recipes!

Between last night and today, I have handled about as much pumpkin as I can stand... LOL who am I kidding? I LOVE pumpkin!!! =D Last night I started with getting out the seeds and cutting/peeling, but couldn't finish cuz I was getting picked up to go to the Robin Mark concert (which was AWESOME by the way, check out my pics on Facebook!), so I finished cutting it all up today. I boiled it, drained it - by the way, pumpkin holds on to a lot of water! I had to put it all through the sieve TWICE because even after pressing through the first time, there was still a lot of water in the bowl with the pumpkin! So anyways, I was super amazed at how easy the pumpkin mashed, it was sooo soft after boiling it, I pretty much just used a spoon to squish it lol...

So by the time I got the pumpkin ready to actually use, and everything was cleaned up, the kids were here (Monday afternoons kids come over after school to hang out with Debby for a couple hours, they're awesome!), and we usually feed them, so I made pumpkin pancakes and scrambled eggs for us all... They were really good, the girls that were here (there were only two that came today because the rest that usually come have H1N1) really liked them! =)

Side note: speaking of eggs, we get eggs from Winnipeg Harvest (unclaimed eggs where Debby works, so she's allowed to bring them home for us, woohoo!), and I cracked one open to use for the pancakes, AND THERE WERE TWO YOLKS IN IT! TWO! IN ONE SHELL!!! hahahaha I had never seen that before!

Okay, back to pumpkin... After the girls left, I made some pumpkin cheesecake! I haven't tried it yet because it has to be refrigerated for at least 4 hours before being sliced and it's only been 2... But even after the pancakes and cheesecake, I still had a full cup of pumpkin left, so I made cookies!!! =D I had to half the recipe cuz it called for 2 cups, but I still got 2.5 dozen, which is good! and they are DELICIOUS!!!!! =D they are a soft cookie, and you can really taste the pumpkin in them, it makes me happy =)

And because my friend Alison has requested recipes, here are the recipes I used tonight:

Pumpkin Pancakes
1 egg
1 cup milk
2 tbsp oil
1/2 cup pumpkin (but I used a full cup)
1 tbsp sugar
1/4 tsp cinnamon
2 tsp baking powder
1/8 tsp nutmeg
1/8 tsp ginger
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
3/4 whole wheat flour
Combine ingredients, mix until blended. I like to cook my pancakes in a frying pan, but I'm sure it'll work if you have an electric griddle or something...
Serves 2-4

Pumpkin Cheesecake
Crust:
1 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs
1/4 cup melted margarine
1/2 cup finely chopped pecans
Mix and press into bottom and sides of pan. Bake 10 minutes @ 350F
Filling:
12 oz (1 1/2 pkgs) cream cheese
1 1/4 cups sugar
3 tbsp flour
1 1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp ginger
3/4 tsp vanilla
4 eggs
3 cups pumpkin
Beat cheese, sugar, and flour in large bowl until creamy. Beat in remaining ingredients until smooth. Pour over crust. Bake until knife in center comes out clean (mine took about 1.5 hours). Refrigerate at least 4 hours before slicing. Keep refrigerated.

Pumpkin Cookies (this is the halved recipe that I used, I didn't add raisins or nuts)
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup pumpkin
1/2 cup oil
1 tsp vanilla
2 cup flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp ginger
1 cup raisins (opt.)
1/2 cup chopped nuts (opt.)
Mix sugar, pumpkin, oil and vanilla. Sift dry ingredients together; add to moist mixture and stir until smooth. Blend in raisins/nuts. Drop by teaspoon on lightly oiled baking sheet. Bake at 350F for 12-15 minutes.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Gots Me Some Wireless!

That's right, we now have wireless internet in the house, so I'm gonna make an effort to blog more often! =)

As for tonight, I don't have much to update... And considering it's 4:06am, and my bus to get to church in the morning comes at 8:55, I am gonna head to bed... Gnight! =)

Sunday, November 1, 2009

"You Won't Relent" Jesus Culture

You won't relent until You have it all,
My heart is Yours
You won't relent until You have it all,
My heart is Yours

You won't relent until You have it all,
My heart is Yours
You won't relent until You have it all,
My heart is Yours

I'll set You as a seal upon my heart,
As a seal upon my arm
For there is love that is as strong as death,
Jealousy demanding as the grave
And many waters cannot quench this love

You won't relent until You have it all,
My heart is Yours
You won't relent until You have it all,
My heart is Yours

You won't relent until You have it all,
My heart is Yours
You won't relent until You have it all,
My heart is Yours

I'll set You as a seal upon my heart,
As a seal upon my arm
For there is love that is as strong as death,
Jealousy demanding as the grave
And many waters cannot quench this love

You won't relent until You have it all,
My heart is Yours
You won't relent until You have it all,
My heart is Yours

Come be the fire inside of me,
Come be the flame upon my heart
Come be the fire inside of me,
Until You and I are one

Come be the fire inside of me,
Come be the flame upon my heart
Come be the fire inside of me,
Until You and I are one

I don't wanna talk about You like You're not in the room,
Wanna look right at You,
Wanna sing right to You

I don't wanna talk about You like You're not in the room,
Wanna look right at You,
Wanna sing right to You

I don't wanna talk about You like You're not in the room,
Wanna look right at You,
Wanna sing right to You

You won't relent until You have it all,
My heart is Yours
You won't relent until You have it all,
My heart is Yours

You won't relent until You have it all,
My heart is Yours
You won't relent until You have it all,
My heart is Yours

I'll set You as a seal upon my heart,
As a seal upon my arm
For there is love that is as strong as death,
Jealousy demanding as the grave
And many waters cannot quench this love

Come be the fire inside of me,
Come be the flame upon my heart
Come be the fire inside of me,
Until You and I are one

Come be the fire inside of me,
Come be the flame upon my heart
Come be the fire inside of me,
Until You and I are one

There's nothing we want more
There's nothing we want more
There's nothing we want more

There's nothing we want more
There's nothing we want more
There's nothing we want more than You Jesus!

Come be the fire inside of me,
Come be the flame upon my heart
Come be the fire inside of me,
Until You and I are one

Come be the fire inside of me,
Come be the flame upon my heart
Come be the fire inside of me,
Until You and I are one

Another Break-Up? =(

Well, for those who know what's going on with a certain boy, things have just taken another turn...
I was at his house on Friday cuz he had a Smitty's staff party thing, and I crashed at his place cuz I wasn't gonna bike home in the wee hours of the morning after drinking...

So early early early Saturday morning, after everyone else had left, he told me that he loves me. And the day that I broke up with him was the day that he was gonna tell me... And he wanted to be back with me...

One of the big problems that I had with this, was that I still love him too. But between the time we broke up and now, I had learned to love him as a friend, and now he has reopened that love that I had for his as more than a friend...

But the main reason why I had broken up with him was because he does not follow Christ. For me, dating is a prep for marriage, and to date him would be like seeing if I could spend the rest of my life with him. But I cannot marry someone who is not a Christ-follower because we would not be on the same spiritual journey, and that is hugely important to me.

So I had to tell him over and over that night that we could not be in a dating relationship because I need to follow Christ. But I did tell him that I love him, and he questioned it... I told him that I love him so much, more than I've ever loved anyone else I've dated, but I love Christ more and that's why we can't be together...

To someone who doesn't know Christ, this is not fair. I totally see where he's coming from... But I just wish he could see where I'm coming from... This is killing me because I've hurt him so much, because of my own rebellion against God in choosing to date him in the first place, I have hurt him in a way that nobody else could. I feel absolutely horrible...

And I feel like if there was even any chance of him coming to know God, I've completely pushed him away. I think that's the worst part of this all... ='(

Please keep us both in your prayers, we need it desperately...

Sunday, October 18, 2009

When Do Thing Start to Get Better?

Hello readers. I haven't really been up to blogging lately, to be quiet honest i've been lazy (haha) but there's also been a lot happening... Not really gonna get into it now though...

One thing I do wanna blog about is the issue of what to wear to church. We got onto this topic on Saturday at Weston during out Sunday School training day, it was interesting to hear the views of some of the older generation, as well as from some people from my generation that were there.

I do remember as a kid wearing my "Sunday best", and then having to wear my Junior Soldier uniform (black dress pants and a white blouse). But now a days, people both young and old come wearing jeans and a tshirt. Is that wrong? One thing that was said was that as long as people come to church and hear the Word of God, what does it matter what they wear? This came from a mother of 4 boys who would rather they come to church than fight about what they wear. She has learned to pick her battles. Good point!

I have also heard the argument that you should dress nice because you are going to God's house. But my argument is, is it really God's house? I mean, a house implies that someone lives there. Does God really live in our church building? I know in the Old Testament He lived in the Tabernacle that the Israelites would have to tear down and set up everywhere, which implied that it wasn't a permanent residence for God. It wasn't until Solomon built the Temple that God had a permanent home on earth. But what about our Christian church buildings? Does God really reside there? I believe He is present, but I don't believe He lives there. I believe that He lives in our hearts. I believe He lives in the Church (people), not the church (building).

So what does that mean for church attire? I think that if God is in our hearts - inside us - what does is matter what we wear on the outside? Christ's blood covers our sins and washes our HEARTS white as snow, not our clothes.

Of course, I would stick within society's clothes standards, I wouldn't show up to church in a bikini (I wouldn't wear one anyways) or even nude (haha), but i'm completely okay if someone comes to church Sunday morning in ripped jeans. I would be okay if someone did come in their "Sunday best", as some people in my church do, that's okay! I personally just wanna wear something that's comfortable, something I can move in, something I can worship God in, and for me that would be jeans and a tshirt.

Now in the Salvation Army, there is a uniform, and i'm not gonna get into that cuz that's a whole other tangent, though I will say that the Salvation Army uniform is a symbol and a representation, something I would never want to get rid of. I do not wear a uniform because I am not a Senior Soldier (member of the church), I am simply an adherent.

I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts on what you wear to church and why!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Emergency Numbers

I saw this on a friend's blog and thought it'd be cool to share it here...

"Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." (Hebrews 4:16)

When God seems far away,
...call Psalm 139.

When your faith needs stirring,
...call Hebrews 11.

When you are lonely and fearful,
...call Psalm 23.

For Paul's secret to happiness,
...call Colossians 3:12-17.

When you feel down and out,
...call Romans 8:31.

When you want peace and rest,
...call Matthew 11:25-30.

When you want courage for a task,
...call Joshua 1.

If people seem unkind,
...call John 13.

ALTERNATE NUMBERS:
For dealing with fear,
Ps. 34:7 "The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him, and He delivers them."

For security,
Ps. 121:3 "He will not let your foot slip — He who watches over you will not slumber."

For assurance,
Mark 8:35 "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it."

For reassurance,
Ps. 145:18 "The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth."

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

"Everything" Lifehouse

Find me here, speak to me
I want to feel You, I need to hear You
You are the light that's leading me
To the place where I find peace again

You are the strength that keeps me walking
You are the hope that keeps me trusting
You are the light to my soul
You are my purpose
You're everything

How can I stand here with You and not be moved by You?
Would You tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and You give me rest
You hold me in Your hands, You won't let me fall
You steal my heart, and You take my breath away
Would You take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with You and not be moved by You?
Would You tell me how could it be any better than this?

And how can I stand here with You and not be moved by You?
Would You tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cuz You're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything, everything
You're all I want You're all I need
You're everything, everything

You're all I want You're all I need
You're everything, everything
You're all I want You're all I need,
You're everything, everything

And how can I stand here with You and not be moved by You?
Would You tell me how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with You and not be moved by You?
Would You tell me how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with You and not be moved by You?
Would You tell me how could it be any better than this?

Would You tell me how could it be any better than this?

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Taking Some Time...

Well, we officially have internet at my house, but my router is not working so I'm not able to have internet on my laptop quite yet, boo! =( Shayani was gracious enough to allow the MTS guys to set up the internet on her laptop, since Debby's computer wouldn't have worked cuz it's an older one... so we've been sharing Shayani's computer... thank you my friend!

Right now actually I'm at the Brenton's babysitting the kiddies... got to sleep in til 8 this morning, woo! =) Last time I was here they were both up at 7, and it was go go go all day til Kim (the mom) got home... Well actually I kinda took a break about 2, the girls were upstairs playing in the living room and I sat in the kitchen where I could still keep an eye on them but could sit down and relax for a little bit... Today I was hoping to take them to the park or something, but it's so chilly out today! If I can find their jackets and stuff then maybe I'll still take them out for a bit, but not too long... It's supposed to be sunny and 13 today, but right now the wind is pretty chilly, so we'll just have to see...

I'm actually really excited for autumn! =) Autumn is my favourite season, I love the colours, the smells, and when it's warm enough for a sweater but chilly enough to make your cheeks rosy... =) Lol I read my friends' Facebook statuses when they complain how summer's over and it's getting cold, but I'm loving it! True it kinda sucks on days like today when I wanna take the kids to the park, but I truly love the weather =)

Hmmm let's see, what else to update on? Oh, my birthday! The party was SOOOOO fun!!!!! =D all except for the creepy drunk guys LOL! There was the Australian guy who was so drunk that he asked me four times if it was my birthday and, "if it wasn't too intrusive," how old I was... Seriously, FOUR TIMES he asked me the exact same thing! Ugh... Then there was that other creepy guy who wanted me to play doubles at pool with him and his buddies, with him of course as my partner... And I really didn't want to, there was just something about him that creeped me out... Then there was that other guy that Betty ended up chatting with... Chatting being the understatement of the night LOL!!! He first just started hanging around the booth where I was with the Smitty's crew, then I went over to the other booth where Kristy and her friends were, and he kept following me, creeper... Then Kristy's friend bought a round of shooters (china whites, pretty good actually!), and when I was over by the Smitty's crew booth I said I was going to have a shot, and the creeper guy was like, "oh how about 4 more? ;)" and I was like, "....no. *walked away*" hahaha it was really funny looking back at it now... But Dennis was right there and looked out for me, he said he'd protect me lol... yay! I really was fine, I felt no danger, just creepiness, which I can handle... Plus with a bunch of my friends there, I was doing well =)

Oh my gosh so then afterwards when Betty was shooting pool by herself (practicing I suppose lol) the creeper guy went over to chat with her, and she was totally flirting with him, it was sooooo funny hahaha I laughed so hard!!! But it was getting close to closing time, so I called a cab, which never came!!! Ugh! Lol when I called, they were like, "yeah, there's already one on its way..." and I was like, "No, I need another one" cuz the first one was Debbie's... But it never came! Then Dennis called his cab, and it came, so we (Dennis, Betty, and I) all just piled in this cab, and went home. Betty stayed at my place for the night, which was really cool cuz when we got there Shayani was still awake so we showed Betty the house and then we chatted for a while, it was really cool =)

So now I'm 22 haha... Doesn't feel much different than being 21... Oh yeah! Then Sunday night I stopped at my mom's before work for a few minutes, and she had gotten me a laundry hamper, which is totally awesome cuz I needed a new one... =) And also $50 for shopping, but I'm only allowed to use the money if I'm with either her or Granny, so she took the cheque back to hold on to so I don't use it on anything else... Isn't that nice? She doesn't trust me... Ugh... Anyways, after work, I stopped by to pick up my hamper, and Granny was there and my mom had a DQ cake, which was really cool! That's always been a tradition in my house, she buys me a DQ cake every year for my birthday and Granny will come over and we'll have cake! =)

But since then (well really, since Sunday morning), I've been going going going non stop... Sunday morning I slept in and was late for church (but Debbie came to my rescue and picked me up and even had Timmy's!), then did Jr Church with 12 kids, then headed to Mom's, then work, then cake, then had to rush home cuz I went to Kristen's for the night cuz I babysat Josh all day yesterday... Lucky for me though he's the easiest kid to babysit EVER! He usually spends his day playing video games and sometimes watches TV... So I at least got to have a day of relaxation, which was nice =) Then from Kristen's I stopped at home for 5 minutes to pick up some stuff I had forgotten the night before, then off to work, then straight to the Brenton's for the night, and this morning I'm watching the girls! Kim does have a dentist appointment after work, but she said she might reschedule it, she's gonna call me about that...

So after I'm done here I get to go home, I'm so excited!!! I haven't really hung out with my roomies since Friday night, and I miss them a lot! I woke up this morning to find an email from Christina, just a short note to tell me she misses me and wants me to come home soon LOL it pretty much made my day =)

Well, it's 9:30, PL is finally up and asking for breakfast, so I'm gonna head upstairs and feed us all... Until next time my friends! =)

Monday, September 14, 2009

Eleven Days!

As if it's been over three weeks since my last update... yeesh, sorry to my faithful readers! I will be getting internet on the 22nd, so I do promise to update more often!

Wow, lots of stuff to update on too, lots has been going on, and yet really not much haha... We did get rid of all the mice in our house... I had found one dead in a trap in the pantry a couple weeks ago, and since then we haven't seen any... Although last night Christina told me she found some droppings, but we're not sure if they're fresh or not... but no sightings of actual mice yet, so we're hoping they're old!

I've been getting along really well with my roomies, awww I love them so much =) It's been interesting seeing the relationships grow... between me and the other girls, and even between the other girls... We're learning a lot about each other, sharing our stories, figuring out how to live together as a community... I'm loving it so far! Of course there are times when one of them will get on my nerves (not one specifially, just someone in general...), but it happens, I still love them =)

MFC has been over for a few weeks to now, aww I miss those kids... =( So now I'm still working at Smitty's, and also doing in-Sunday child care at CFOT. Yesterday was my first day, it went fairly well... It's challenging though, there are some kids who just couldn't settle down and listen, they were running around screaming pretty much the whole time lol... A couple of them didn't even come into the classroom, they stayed out in the big room and did their own thing, which was okay cuz they weren't causing any trouble... It's also challenging with the age differences... The youngest is under 2, and the oldest (that was in the classroom) is like 10? lol I don't even know ages, I'm just guessing... But overall it went well, there were no major incidents, nobody got hurt, and I had enough lesson material stuff planned to take up the whole time, it was awesome! =) There's another in-Sunday this coming Sunday, it's the welcome weekend, so I've been prepping a bit for that...

My birthday is also coming up, 11 more days to be exact! Hence the title of this entry haha... I am having a party, it's gonna be right on my birthday (the 25th) at Players Bar and Grill, gonna go play some pool, have a couple drinks, hang out with my friends, and just have a good time! I'm super looking forward to it!!!! You (yes you!) are totally invited to come too! If you are in Winnipeg on that day you are welcome to come! I did make a Facebook event thing, but had to be really quick in sending the invites out, so I may have missed a person or too... So if you didn't get an invite, THIS IS YOUR INVITE!!!!! =D

Hmmm what else? Not too much actually... Well I'm sure there's more but I can't think of anything off the top of my head lol it'll have to wait until my next update I suppose... =P Adios amigos!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

"Jesus Calling" 33 Miles

What do you see when you look at your world today
Is it so full of clutter that you feel like you're going insane
And you can't fight back cause you're just too afraid
And it seems like the clouds in your sky don't wanna change
You see there's always another story, another side to every coin
And how you see your circumstance is all about a choice

When you see the rushing wind, feel the pouring rain
Hear the thunder now as the clouds roll in
You're blinded by the lightning
Do you also hear that still, small voice saying
It's okay you're not alone
You may be scared to death but I won't let you go
You may think the sky above is falling
But can you hear Jesus calling

What do you see when you look at your world today
Do you see a glimmer of hope, or has it all turned to gray
Well start by counting your blessings one by one
Oh and I'm sure right there, you'll start to see the sun
You see there's always another story, another side to every coin
And how you see your circumstance is all about a choice

When you see the rushing wind, feel the pouring rain
Hear the thunder now as the clouds roll in
You're blinded by the lightning
Do you also hear that still, small voice saying
It's okay you're not alone
You may be scared to death but I won't let you go
You may think the sky above is falling
But can you hear Jesus calling

Because the darker the night, the brighter He can shine

When you see the rushing wind, feel the pouring rain
Hear the thunder now as the clouds roll in
You're blinded by the lightning
Do you also hear that still, small voice saying
It's okay you're not alone
You may be scared to death but I won't let you go
You may think the sky above is falling
But can you hear Jesus calling

Saturday, August 22, 2009

another update whilst at the library!

So i'm at the library right now with Christina, so I thought I'd quickly update my blog while here!

Not too much else has been new... Still have mice (though I will be picking up different traps next week...), still at MFC (though this coming week is the last week!!!), still LOVING the house (and Debby's back!)

Okay, so... the house. Still love it!!! And my roomies!!! =D Debby got back safe and sound from her trip to BC, but she is heading out early tomorrow morning for her Alaskan cruise, so she'll be gone another week or so... And Shayani will soon be moving in as well, I'm QUITE excited for that!!! =D

MFC is winding down... The kids have been awesome, I'm gonna miss them so much!!! Though even as I say that, there are some kids who have been having trouble listening, and it's been really frustrating... but I will still miss them! =( Lol yesterday was our last Teen Swim, but the pool was closed (AGAIN!!!) so we had a BBQ at the centre, fun times!!! =D Lol I was supposed to barbecue the hamburgers and hot dogs, but one of the kids (he's 12) kinda took over LOL! He flipped them and everything, all I did was move them to make the diamond grill marks... And he was so proud, it was awesome!!! Lol this is the same kid that we teased for being manly cuz he was able to carry three bags of ice at Teen Swim (oh so long ago when we actually were able to have Teen Swim... thanks a lot rain!) So now he barbecued, and therefore even more of a man, and he was really proud of it, and I was proud of him!

Anyways, we gotta go cuz we still need to stop at IGA for juice (it's on sale!), get home, have supper, and be back at Calvary Temple for 7:30 for the Building 429 concert, I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!!! =D until next time! =)

P.S. I will be getting internet at home soon so I will be able to update on a regular basis =)

Monday, August 10, 2009

Another Mouse in my House! =S

Wow I haven't updated in a while, I apologise to my readers!

Anyways, I have now been in my house for over a week, and I am completely loving it!!! =D I LOVE my roommate Christina, she is sooooo awesome!!! We've been spending most evenings together, either chatting, or watching movies or prison break lol... Saturday afternoon we dressed up and went out shopping, it was so fun and we both looked good! ;) but we were both also dying from wearing heels lol...

I bought some movies from walmart, from the $5 bin: Spiderman, Robin Hood Men in Tights, Little Nemo (does anyone remember that one??? The part with the tar always scared the crap outta me as a kid...), aaaaand something else I can't remember right now... Then we bought some stuff from Bulk Barn, then headed home, stopping by her church to pick up some stuff for her art project... Then we headed down to catch the 17 to go to my place, but missed it so we went into Safeway to see the Venus Flytraps they have, THEY ARE SO COOL!!!!!!!! =D then we went to Video 1001 across the street and I picked up Rent and Chicago for $7 each, awesome! =D

She ended up not coming with me to my place, which was okay...

Oh yeah, before I forget! I dyed my hair red again! =D it looks great!!! And I was going to shoppers by my place to get black hair dye for streaks, which also look very cool, Christina helped me put them in! =)

Awww I love Christina so much =) and i'm so glad God has sent me to that house, cuz even Christina said herself said that she wouldn't know what to do with herself after what she's gone through this past week... It's amazing how God's timing works! =)

Oh yes, and we have mice in our house... =( we got some mouse poison, mixed it with peanut butter, and set it out, and we were pretty sure that the mouse was dead, but after being untouched for a few days, the peanut butter disappeard sometime between Saturday night and Sunday night... =S so we're thinking it was the momma mouse that ate it first, then when she didn't bring her baby food, it came to find some and ended up finding the poison, so we think it's dead too...

Other than the mouse, the house is so perfect!!! =D i'm quite excited for Debby to get home, she should be arriving sometime next week! Only for a couple days til she leaves again on an Alaskan cruise, so cool! =) she'll be back for September though, and Shayani will be moved in too for September, so i'm quite excited to see what God has planned for the four of us!!! =D

As for MFC, things are going well! I'm pretty sad that with this week there's only two weeks left of kids club, and only a week left after that! =( but the kids have been amazing for the most part, i'm really gonna miss them! =( as well as seeing the staff everyday, they're so awesome!

And i'm still working at Smitty's, Sundays @ 3, Mondays @ 5, Thursdays @ 4... And i'm heading there now actually so I will perhaps blog some more later... Ciao! =)

Monday, July 27, 2009

5 More Days! =D

So, five more days til i'm officially moved! =D man, a month ago I thought this would never come, but it went by really fast! Everything is packed except for one more box of last minute stuff, my room is painted, I have the keys and the alarm code, all is set! =D

I am soooooo super excited to be finally MOVING!!!! =D lol I was telling the kids club kids about it today at lunch, and one of them was like, :aren't you scared?" and I was like "no actually i'm really excited!" and she was like "but... You'd be by yourself... Aren't you scared?" and really, i'm not at all! When I think about being outta my mom's house, living with three other people, two of which I only met when shayani and I went to look at the house, I cannot WAIT!!! =D

I know that this is what is right, this is where God is leading me, there is no doubt in my mind! Things just came together all too easily for it to have been all a coincidence... And so why should I be scared? With things the way they are between my mom and I, i'm okay with not living with her, and I AM 21 so it's about time to leave the nest anyways... I've been ready for moving out for a long time now, but couldn't afford it... I had to wait on God's perfect timing, and I truly believe it is time. =)

As for kids club, things are going great! =D last week was really tough, the kids just wouldn't listen and wouldn't cooperate with us, but Flo had a one-on-one chat with the ones causing problems, so today they we're fine. We actually had a lot of fun today! =D we travelled to the Caribbean, we played this super cool way of getting the facts in the morning (we go over facts of where we travel to on Mondays for the game shows we play on Fridays), and in the afternoon we made drums, the kids loved it! The staff loved it too, it was really fun! =) AND buffy came to visit and help out too, it was great to see her! =D

So now i'm off to work at Smitty's... I just got a call back from my mom, tomorrow when I get home from MFC we're gonna start moving my stuff over and she can (finally) get a look at the house! Aaaahhhhhhh i'm so excited!!!!! =D =D =D

Sunday, July 19, 2009

It's Getting Close!

Moving day, T minus 13 days!!! =D

Things are getting DONE!!! This weekend I finished packing, except for one more box cuz I had forgotten a bunch of movies and some sandals... And I completely finished spackling and sanding, and I have removed all the lightswitch and plug things, so next weekend i'm ready to paint! =D I LOVE painting, so i'm QUITE excited to get 'er done! =D

So, this week, I have TONS to do! I need to pick up my key from Naomi's parents (Naomi was a house guest for a month), I need to get a hold of Christina to go through the alarm system and stuff AND find a date I can bring my mom down to see the house, I need to call the co-op office to get paint, (side note, I need to call the college about VA letters...), I need to call Granny and thank her for her old couch but let her know that I don't need it and ask her what she wants done with it... And that's on top of my shifts at MFC and Smitty's! plus I SUPER need to clean this house, I haven't done a single thing except dishes and garbage take-out since i've been here, and it really needs to be done...

So, this is gonna be a BUSY week!!! BUT it will all be worth it! I am so super duper excited to move!!!! =D =D =D

Oh yeah, I am also looking for people who would be willing to help me move! =D I officially move in august 1st, and I realise that's the long weekend, but i'm sure I can start moving stuff a couple days before... My mom was thinking Wednesday, cuz that's what works for her... But anybody with a vehicle, preferably a large vehicle such as a van or a pick-up truck, that would like to come help me move, that would be super AWESOME!!! Let me know! =D

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

"What Do I Know of Holy?" Addison Road

I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were might to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life it's name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?

What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?

Monday, July 13, 2009

What Does It Matter?

I was at Timmy's this morning getting a bagel (already had my coffee I made at home), and while waiting for my bagel, this guys comes and orders a small coffee and a brown bun. He had a Tim Card, and the cashier asked him to swipe it, and he went on this huge rant! He said that he already paid for it, so why should he gave to swipe it? She should be the one to swipe it! And the poor girl is like, "okay, okay!" and he just kept going on and on about it! But I had no idea what was going on, I didn't know what he was ranting about until he came over to get his coffee, and he starts ranting at ME about it! He's saying that the manager is just trying to get rid of employees and whatever else, I don't even know what he was saying...

So I respectfully told him (cuz I was still waiting for my bagel) that I don't see what the difference is, whether he swipes it or the cashier swipes it. The balance of his card will be the same, he still gets his food, nobody loses their job, and by making a fuss like that it only took longer for him to get his food. And then my bagel came so I told him that I hope he has a good day, and I left. So I don't know if anything else happened after I left, but I really hope this guy takes to heart what I said... And no I wasn't rude in the way I said it, but really, what does it matter who swipes the card?

It's things like that that really kinda gets to me... (time for my own rant LOL!) I mean, it's just so trivial! By fussing over the simplest thing, you don't just bring yourself down, but you bring others down too! The cashier looked ready to cry, other people in line looked surprised at what happened, and even I was a bit annoyed... Honestly though as I left I had to laugh, but it's troubling to see people who are so focused on such insignificant things that they completely miss out on the bigger things!

Anyways, i'm almost at MFC so I gotta go...

Sunday, July 5, 2009

"Praise You in this Storm" Casting Crowns

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen",
And it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

Monday, June 29, 2009

"Looking for Angels" Skillet

Going through this life looking for angels
People passing by looking for angels

Walk this world alone, try to stay on my feet
Sometimes crawl, fall, but I stand up cuz i'm afraid to sleep
Open my eyes to a new day with all new problems and all new pain
All the faces are filled with so much anger
Losing our dignity and hope for fear of danger
After all the wars, after settling the scores,
At the break of dawn will we be deaf to the answers?
With so much bigotry, misunderstanding and fear,
With eyes squinted and fists clenched we reach out for what is dear
(we want it, we want, we want a reason to live)
We're on a pilgrimage, a crusade for hope,
Cuz in our hearts and minds and souls we know
(we need it, we need, we need more than this)

Going through this life, looking for angels
People passing by, looking for angels
Walking down the streets, looking for angels
Everyone I meet, looking for angels

So many nations with so many hungry people
So many homeless scrounging around for dirty needles
On the rise, teen suicide
When we we realise we've been desensitised by the lies of the world?
We're oppressed and impressed by the greedy,
Whose hands squeeze the life out of the needy
When will we learn that wars, threats and regrets are the cause and effect of living in fear?
We can help protect the innocence of our children,
Stolen on the internet with images they can't forget
(we want it, we want, we want a reason to live)
We represent a generation that wants to turn back the nation,
To let love be our light and salvation
(we need it, we need, we need more than this)

Going through this life, looking for angels
People passing by, looking for angels
Walking down the streets, looking for angels
Everyone I meet, looking for angels

I became a saviour to some kids I'll never meet,
Sent a cheque in the mail to buy them something to eat
What will you do to make a difference, to make a change?
What will you do to help someone along the way?
Just a touch, a smile as you turn the other cheek,
Pray for your enemies, humble yourself, love's staring back at me
In the midst of the most painful of faces,
Angels show up in the strangest of places

Going through this life, looking for angels
People passing by, looking for angels
Walking down the streets, looking for angels
Everyone I meet, looking for angels

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Got Me Hair Trimmed! =)

Okay that's really not what this post is about LOL but I DID just get it trimmed and it feels good! =)

Anyways, just wanna update y'all on what's happening with my move! I talked to Cindy about moving into their place while they're on holidays for July, and she said it'd be totally fine if I moved all my stuff there for just the month... They wouldn't charge me anything, but it'd be up to me to take care of the garden and lawn. But what I think I may do, cuz I still have lots to pack and clean and fix at my mom's, is I'll stay at the Butler's Sunday-Thursday, cuz it is easier to get to MFC from their place, then on weekends I'll head to my mom's to keep packing and stuff... And I talked to my mom about that, and she's okay with it. =) so yay!

AND I think I'm heading there tomorrow night? Cuz Cindy has left on holidays early to see her dad, so Curtis is there and Beth and Farley are visiting, so it'd be a bit weird I guess for them LOL so I will stay there this weekend prolly... We'll see... I'd love to head there tonight but I will be working late tonight... Which reminds me, I should actually call Curtis and let him know that...

So I will call Curtis as soon as I post this, and then get back to work! =) please continue to pray over my mom and I...

Saturday, June 20, 2009

update stuff...

Wow, lots to say again! To start, things at MFC have been pretty good this first week! =) we didn't get a much planning done as we wanted, but it was fun nonetheless, and things are starting to come together. Hopefully this coming week we can get lots more done!

Things with mom haven't been so great, but what else is new? I'm trying so hard to not be angry and bitter with her, but it is so hard when she is constantly rude to me. I don't wanna go into details on what she has done specifically, but I have been called names, given the silent treatment, and spoken rudely to, all of it completely uncalled for.

I did have a really good chat with my friend Debi today, and she pretty much confirmed what I've already been thinking about... She suggested that I move all my boxes out of the house (to a friend's house or even to the house itself) just so that my mom doesn't see them and therefore won't have a constant reminder that i'm moving out...

I've had a few friends offer their places to me, either to store my stuff there or even for me to stay there if I needed somewhere else to stay... One of them I would love to stay with her, but my biological father lives in the same apartment so I really wouldn't feel comfortable staying there... My pastor has also offered their house when they're away on holidays, and i'm thinking I may just do that... I will have to talk with them though...

It is definitely not a good situation right now at my mom's house... My mom's anger is getting really intense, and I am almost to the breaking point, I just can't deal with this for much longer...

For the longest time I thought I was to blame, that I just wasn't good enough or didn't do enough, and that's why I got yelled at all the time... But especially after having this conversation with Debi today, I realised that no it's not all me... I mean, yeah I could help around the house more, but can someone really get that mad because I didn't do a chore? I don't wanna make it sound like i'm accusing my mom of anything, but she hurts me in ways that will prolly require therapy down the road... I can see it happening... I've seen it happen with my mom herself... She's told me many stories of her younger years of being abused by her parents... I don't know if she sees it, but I've seen the cycle continue through her. It almost makes me afraid to have children of my own, cuz I've seen many of the same traits in myself... It's been pointed out to me too, especially a couple years ago at camp, my supervisor asked me what was wrong because I was not the same way with kids as I was...

In class, we would always learn about how when there is abuse, it usually continues in a chain down through family generations. I do believe that I can break this chain in my family. I've been through a lot, but I know that I have God in my life, and He is the God of healing and growth!

Anywho, I am at a bachelorette parTAY and I was writing this as the other girls were in the pool, but they are now sitting with me so i'm gonna do my best to socialise... Sigh it's been a rough day so far, so I wanna be able to relax and enjoy myself even if it's just for a night... =)

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Things I Need to Say to People

1. You have been such a great friend! I love how we don't even remember the details on how we became so close, but I love that we have! We've been through a lot together and it's because of you that i'm still here... It makes me sad that we seem to have separated lately, but I understand that it's cuz of everything that's been coming up... But I want you to know that i'm still here for you no matter what! I love you so much it hurts sometimes, and I wish you every kind of happiness! =D

2. It's weird how we got so close so fast, but i'm so glad! You are my sister and I love you with my whole heart! You've been there for me since the beginning (at least since I was able to talk lol!) with support, advice, and love. I always feel so comfortable around you, and I want to thank you for all the times we chatted over coffee, for when we gathered at your house for prayer meetings, for the fun times shopping, for the late night chats about really deep stuff, and always for the love of God that you have and that you share with everyone you come in contact with! I know we are not perfect, but we're not meant to be.

3. You were one of my first real friends at the college... It took a lot for me to open up to people and let them in, but with you, once we were in an intensive together and sat beside each other for that whole week, it was much easier! It's been really fun being your friend! =) I love our inside jokes haha! You've been there for me too, and have always had something to tell me, and that means more to me than you know! I've loved getting to know who you are, and I am so inspired by you! I've seen you super excited, I've seen you completely crushed, I've seen you fight for something and I've seen you realise when it's time to let go... You seem so wise to me and I love getting your input on hard decisions. I love you my friend, and I thank you for everything =)

4. Oh my goodness it's only taken 6 months to get to where we are now! You've become one of my closest friends, someone I can chat with about anything and everything! You've opened your home to me, and I've always felt welcome there (even if it was awkward the first time cuz we weren't on facebook LOL!) I feel like I can relate with you about stuff, to a point of course, and i'm so thankful that God has brought you here! I've prayed for you a lot as you went through difficult times, and I continue to pray for you as you keep pushing forward and moving on with what God has for you! You've encouraged me in so many ways, and kept me on track when I started to lose sight of what matters most. I don't feel like I have to fake my feelings around you, I can always express what I feel without feeling judged. In these 6 months, I have grown to really love you for who you are, so I thank you for just being you! =)

5. Oh goodness, what to say! Can I even find words to express how grateful I am for you? It's only been 6 months that I've gotten to know you, but it feels like I've known you forever! For the many coffee dates, the chats, the tears I was able to cry with you, the hugs, but most of all the love, I thank God for you! You seem to have a knack for piecing things together in a way that makes sense, and from that I've been able to work through a lot of stuff... I love talking with you because I feel like i'm actually listened to, and I always leave with a fresh perspective on things.

6. You have been one of my closest guy friends I have ever had. I've been able to tell you a lot of things I thought I'd never be able to tell a guy. I am sad that things had to end, but I like to see it as us just taking our relationship back to a different level. I love the fact that we are still friends and I don't find it awkward at all anymore. I respect you a lot, and you've taught me a lot of things about bf/gf relationships while we were dating. I do still care about you a lot, and I miss having that closer relationship, but I don't regret anything. In fact i'm kinda glad things turned out the way they did, because I can still call you my friend =)

7. I don't really know how to say this... I find it somewhat awkward to be your friend, but awkward isn't the right word... We aren't really that close, but we have a close group of friends. Even as I say this, I realise that not everybody is super close with everybody. I do consider you a friend, and I also know that both of us haven't completely opened up to each other, and i'm okay with that =) I have enjoyed being your friend and getting to know different things about you. I know it takes a lot for you to trust people, but I want you to know that I do trust you, and I'd never try to force anything out of you. Just so you know lol...

8. I think this is my hardest one to write... I know in my mind that you love me, that you want what's best for me, but I don't get that in my heart. I'm not writing this in anger, this is just how it is. I don't get a lot of positive anything from you, which is why I don't stay home very much. It's hard for me to be around someone who always has something negative to say about anything I do, and it really hurts. That is why I need to much other positive encouragement from a lot of my other friends. I understand that you're working through a lot of things from your past while dealing with a daughter who is growing up and leaving home, I know that it must be really hard for you! But I still have needs, and one of those needs is love from you, cuz I don't feel it at all. Around you, I feel like i'm never good enough, that i'm a failure. You've never told me otherwise. I try my best to love you, but it's hard to keep giving when you seem to just get further and further away.

9. You have grown up so much over the years! I've seen you struggle with so many things life has thrown at you, and yet you overcame them all! I can see that you have many friends surrounding you with love and encouragement, and your relationship with God, though shaky sometimes, is your foundation, always remember that! You still have a lot of growing up to do, and life will continue to throw difficult things at you, but I know that if you keep holding on to your Rock, you can get through anything!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

MFC! =)

So, it's been two days that I've been at MFC, and I am LOVING it!!! =D. So far it's just been all planning stuff, Dayna, Flo and I have been going through all the little details and getting all the different things planned for the summer kids club, it's been interesting! =) busy, but cool!

I'm looking forward to putting all these plans into action, to meet the kids, to have even more fun! I picture it being a bit like camp, a bit like kids cafe, and a lot of new experiences... I'm excited! =D

It's a little stressing though, because now my days are all taken up with the job, and i'm starting to stress about getting wedding stuff done, and then moving stuff done, and balancing shifts at Smitty's... Oi!!! It'll be good though, I know that God is working in me and is getting things done through me, and I know everything will be done when it needs to get done... So i'm still learning to trust God and lean on him for strength =)

Friday, June 12, 2009

Hmmm...

Well let's see, shall I update? What to say?

First of all, it's been an odd couple days... I've had a LOT of good news, about the house, MFC, everything is just coming together really well! And yet I'm not as happy as I should be about it... I've been feeling all this stuff coming up in me again... Perhaps it's cuz I've been really tired lately, cuz I know it usually hits me when I'm tired... It kinda sucks...

But I'm recognising that it's coming on, and so I've spent a lot of time in prayer, leaning on the Everlasting Arms... I haven't really talked to anyone about it, cuz honestly I don't have anything to say about it, it's just there... And whenever I do talk to people, they usually just tell me to lean on God, and that they'll pray for me... Don't get me wrong, I love hearing that, it's huge encouragement to me =) But I'm already leaning on God, and I haven't really had a chance to talk about it with my friends...

I was at one of my friend's house last night, but she was dealing with some of her own stuff, and I was more than happy to be there for her to talk about it, especially this afternoon... Today for her, she really needs to deal with her own stuff... And I am praying for her, which really helps to keep my mind off my own stuff for now... =)

But I'm thinking that after I post this, I will message my other friend about it... And I ask you all for prayer too... Believe me, I will be okay =) It's just really kinda annoying and frustrating...

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Trust

One of my latest fave songs has a line in it that says, "forget the fear it's just a crutch that tries to hold you down and turn your dreams to dust, all you need to do it just TRUST!" and they begin to rock out... Good song actually, "unbreakable" by Fireflight.

Anyways, I wanted to update my blog today in a way that really focuses on trust in God, cuz I've learned to do that and everything is falling into place! =)

When I gave word that I was moving into this house, I really had no idea how I would be able to afford it working only part time at Smitty's... Albeit I have been working more hours lately, it hasn't been full time. But I could feel God telling me to not worry about finances, He will provide. The plan was to move in for September, but things at home have not been so great and I prayed about it, and I am now moving in August 1st.

And a few weeks ago, before even giving word about the house, I had applied at MFC as a kids club assistant, 30 hours a week, $9.25/hour, absolutely set on getting it, was interviewed, was super excited about it, but never got the call to start on the following Monday (when it was originally supposed to begin...) and when I figured that I didn't get it I was a little worried about whether I could afford my room in the house, but God really pushed me to still go for it, trust Him.

Then the other day, I get a call from Jurkuc at MFC, telling me that he was sorry it took so long, they were waiting on government grants to run their programs and pay the staff, and if I was still interested in the job I could come down and fill out all the paperwork. So I went down there today and filled it all out, and I start Monday! =D

I've realised that because I chose to trust God about the house, and I do believe He was testing me by holding out on the MFC position until now, He is really putting everything into place for me right now! It's such a great feeling! Just trusting and waiting on Him without freaking out that I may not be able to afford this... There were times I asked God how this could happen, but I never doubted Him, and now look at what He's doing for me! thank you Jesus... =)

Sunday, June 7, 2009

update!

Big news y'all!!! I am officially moving in September into the house I blogged about a while back! =D I finally sat down and talked with my mom, then got in contact with the house owner, and it's all set to go, I am SOOOOOOO excited!!! =D

Though this does cause some conflict in my home now... My mom is not too thrilled that i'm moving into that area (plus there's other personal things she's trying to work through...) which is resulting in us REALLY not getting along lately... I do love her, but things are making it really hard to live with her, and so i'm trying to get in contact with Debby to see if I can move in for August... But she is away so i'm not sure how often she's able to check/respond to emails... But for now, i'm trying to rely on God, cuz I know that it was Him that got all this going, so i'm trying to trust Him... As well as leaning on my awesome supporting friends =)

Speaking of friends, some of them, cadets, specifically the WFCs, it was their last Sunday at Weston... Now I don't wanna get sappy here, but I did have a really great time with them today! =) first, before the service started, I went and hugged Melissa, and we just kinds sat there hugging and she started rocking, and I almost fell asleep in her arms lol! But it was so relaxing and comforting, I haven't felt that in a long long time... It was really nice =)

I also got to get a couple pictures with Melissa and Hannah! =) some on Debi's cam, a couple on my phone... Aww i'm gonna miss them so much!!! But as much as I want them to be here forever, I am super excited for them to get out there to their appointments and to see how God will continue to work through them! =D so to all you WFCs, I pray that you continue to live up to your session name and be true Witnesses for Christ to EVERYONE around you! May God bless you bunches! =D

Moving on to the H2O Challenge, I have yet to actually drink a full 8 8-oz glasses of water, but I have been drinking a lot more than I usually do, so I'd say that is progress! =) yesterday I actually had 5, and today I've had 2 so far... How are you all doing with it? I'd love to hear!

Let's see, what else have I got to update? I think that's about it lol... Oh wait! 20 DAYS LEFT TIL THE WEDDING!!! =D holy smokes I've got a lot to do before then! Last night I really actually started working on the picture slide show, getting a couple baby pics of Georgio ready, getting a bunch of Nat's younger-years pics from Karen, and going through Georgio's facebook pics to see if there's any good ones I could snag... Except my laptop decided last night that it would run super super slow, so I only got about a third of the way through her photo albums... So for now, this week i'm gonna start scanning Karen's pics that I was able to borrow, then wednesday and maybe Thursday if needed I will be at the church to get more facebook pics!

So i'm gonna get started on those scanner pics now... Until next time! =)

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

H2O Challenge!

I read in my friend Alison's blog about how we are supposed to drink about 1.5 litres of water everday to stay healthy... I personally rarely drink that much water in a day lol but she proposed a challenge, and I intend to try it! Here's the link to her blog about it:

The H2O Challenge!


Check it out, and try it out for yourselves! =)

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

"The Shack" Pt. 3

I have finished the book, and what an AMAZING book it was! Everything I had questions about in my first blog entry about the book was addressed, plus more! Questions that I often wondered were brought up and discussed... Wow... Yes, I would definitely recommend this book to everyone, whether you believe in God or not! If you wanna borrow it from me just let me know! =) and if you have read it already, I'd love to hear your thoughts on it! =)

As for now though, seeing as it's currently 3:30am, i'm gonna get some sleep. Goodnight world! =)

Monday, June 1, 2009

"The Shack" cont.

I am reading more today, I can't seem to put this book down! Here is a great paragraph that explains the nature of the Trinity, found on page 104:

"'You do understand,' she [God] continued, 'that unless I had an object to love - or, more accurately, a someone to love - if I did not have such a relationship within myself, then I would not be capable of love at all? You would have a god who could not love. Or maybe worse, you would have a god who, when he chose, could love only as a limitation of his nature. That kind of god could possibly act without love, and that be a disaster. And that is surely NOT me ... The God who is - the I am who I am - cannot act apart from love!'"

The Beginning of "The Shack"

I don't want to ruin this for anyone who hasn't read the book yet, so consider this your spoiler alert...

the book begins (after an intro chapter) by telling of how Mack lost his youngest daughter, she had been kidnapped while camping, and murdered, no body was ever found, just her torn bloody dress. This actually really sickened me and I wanted to stop reading right then and there, but didn't cuz I know there's good coming...

But the reality of child abduction really kinda hit me... I mean, this isn't just some fiction story, child abduction is very real in our world, where children are taken, abused - physically, possibly sexually - and killed. Just think about that little girl that was taken on her way home from school, her name is actually slipped my mind at the moment... They only just found her body... Can you imagine the agony of the family? For those of you with children, having your child abducted and murdered would be your worst nightmare! I do not have children of my own, so I can't even imagine what it must be like...

I have s very vivid imagination, and especially reading books I get very wrapped up in it. Sometimes this is good and sometimes it's not... As I was reading in the book about Missy, I could picture in my head the scene: Mack jumping in the water to save Josh and Kate; realising Missy was gone; trying to calm the fears, only to find out what had happened... I could feel Mack's anguish because I could picture what he was saying... I could picture Missy as she was being abducted, her fear, screaming for her daddy, for anybody, to help her... And I began to feel the fear, I began feeling very closed in, trapped... And I cried as I could see her in her red dress trying to fight off her abductor to no avail as he ripped off her dress... Even as I write this, I can feel the terror and pain she would've felt... I know that i'm not gonna sleep well at all tonight because of these images in my head...

And what makes it worse is that this happens in real life! This isn't just a character in a book called Missy! I just can't understand how people can hurt others like that, ESPECIALLY children!!! It breaks my heart to know that there are people in this world that get a thrill from hurting kids, it sickens me! To me, children are the most precious thing in the world...
And to think that God calls is to love even those who hurt them? How can I love someone who would take a child from their parents, beat them, rape them, kill them? I do not blame God for allowing this to happen, because I understand free will and that people make the choice to hurt, not God. What gets to me is that He wants us to love them. Personally, I'd have no problem hating them... Mind you, I would never wish for their deaths, like capital punishment (which, by the way, I am completely against, no matter what the crime), and i'm all for rehabilitation. I can hope for them, that through therapy and counselling, etc, they can change... But when it comes to loving them... I don't know...

But then I look at my own life... No, I have never kidnapped a child, nor have I harmed a child intentionally. But I've made plenty of mistakes. I have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. And in God's eyes, sin is sin. There is no ranking of different sins. Whether it's killing an innocent child, or telling a little white lie, it's all sin, and it hurts God.

I don't wanna make it seem like that if you sin God doesn't like it because He has said not to... It is true that God doesn't like sin... But it's because He loves us and wants to have a relationship with us, and it hurts Him when we don't listen to what He says. He's not a God who is just waiting for us to sin so He can punish us... No, in fact it's completely opposite! He is waiting for us to repent so He can rejoice with us!

I have this amazing vision of this, can you see it??? Think of the "lost" parables: the lost coin, the lost sheep, and the lost son. Think about how excited people were when the lost things were found! Picture the father running to the son when he came back! This is one of my favourite stories that Jesus tells, because I can see myself in the son's role (again with the active imagination lol...) I am able to look back on my life and could just about point out the time when I "left home", when I lived my life the way I wanted to, when I crashed and burned, and when I was desperate enough to come back to God, only expecting to be treated like a hired hand. And yet what I found was that God was right there waiting to rejoice with me upon my return! I was welcomed right back into the family!

I love the song "when God ran", I think it's by Phillips Craig and Dean... The words are absolutely amazing, I highly recommend searching the words on google, or even looking up the song on youtube! The chorus goes, "the only time I ever saw Him run, was when He ran to me, took me in His arms, held my head to His chest, and said 'my son's come home again,' lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes, and with forgiveness in His voice He said 'son, do you know I still love you?'" can we stop here for a second? Can you take a break from reading this long blog post and picture this scene in your mind? Even in this day in age, this just doesn't happen in real life! If a kid takes their inheritance and squanders it all on nothing, there's no coming back into the family! The lost son's brother holds the worldview on this situation, I can totally see why he's upset and refuses to go in to the party... But that doesn't matter... Only God and His love for us...

Coming back to my original topic... It is not an easy thing to love those I want to hate. But you know what? Christ died for them too. This is not an easy thing for me to accept, but I know that it's true.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that WHOSOEVER believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life ... Therefore, go and make disciples of ALL nations, baptising them in the name of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit..."

Saturday, May 30, 2009

"I'm Not Who I Was" Brandon Heath

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was

I found my way around
To forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you
So...

I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was

When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you...

I reckon it's a funny thing
I figured out I can sing
Now I'm not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe 'cause I want it so much
I'm not who I was

I was thinking maybe I
I should let you know
I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Hello...

Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

"Hero (Red Pill Remix)" Superchic[k]

No one sits with him, he doesn't fit in
But we feel like we do when we make fun of him
Cuz you want to belong, do you go along?
Cuz his pain is the price paid for you to belong?
It's not like you hate him or want him to die
But maybe he goes home and thinks suicide
Or he comes back to school with a gun at his side
Any kindness from you might have saved his life

Heroes are made when you make a choice

You could be a hero, heroes do what's right
You could be a hero, you might save a life
You could be a hero, you could join the fight
For what's right, for what's right, for what's right

No one talks to her, she feels so alone
She's in too much pain to survive on her own
The hurt she can't handle overflows to a knife
She writes on her arm, wants to give up her life
Each day she goes on is a day that she is brave
Fighting the lie that giving up is the way
Each moment of courage her own life she saves
When she throws the pills out, a hero is made

Heroes are made when you make a choice

You could be a hero, heroes do what's right
You could be a hero, you might save a life
You could be a hero, you could join the fight
For what's right, for what's right, for what's right

No one talks to him about how he lives
He thinks that the choices he makes are just his
Doesn't know he's a leader with the way he behaves
And others will follow the choices he's made
He lives on the edge, he's old enough to decide
His brother who wants to be him is just nine
He can do what he wants because it's his right
But choices he makes change a nine year old life

Heroes are made when you make a choice

You could be a hero, heroes do what's right
You could be a hero, you might save a life
You could be a hero, you could join the fight
For what's right, for what's right, for what's right

Little Mikey D was in the one class who everyday got brutally harassed
This went on for years until he decided that never again would he shed another tear
So he walked through the door, grabbed the 44 out of his father's dresser drawer and said I can't take life no more
And like that life can be lost
But this ain't even about that
All of us just sat back and watched it happen
Thinkin' it's not our responsibility to solve a problem that isn't even about me
This is our problem
This is just one of the daily scenarios which we choose to close our eyes instead of doing the right thing
If we make a choice and be the voice for those who won't speak up for themselves
How many lives would be saved, changed, and rearranged?
Now it's our time to pick a side
So don't keep walking by
Don't wanna intervene cuz you just wanna exist and never be seen
So let's wake up, change the world
Our time is now

You could be a hero, heroes do what's right
You could be a hero, you might save a life
You could be a hero, you could join the fight
For what's right, for what's right, for what's right

You could be a hero, heroes do what's right
You could be a hero, you might save a life
You could be a hero, you could join the fight
For what's right, for what's right, for what's right

Lunch Today!

I got to have two lunches today! Well actually the first was like breakfast cuz I hadn't eaten anything yet up til then... I ate with LA, it was really good =) we went to Timmy's, she ordered food and I just had an apple (I did bring lasagna but didn't have time to eat it there lol) we had some really good conversation! We talked about how things are going between me and Dennis, and about the house, and about life in general. I love talking with LA, she makes me feel so good about myself! =) not that other people don't lol but LA in particular today made me feel really good about decisions I've made =) lol I almost cried...

Anyways, after lunch at Timmy's, we went to Shoppers Drug Mart, then she had to get to class. When I was standing at the bus stop waiting for my bus to go home, I had the opportunity for ministry, it was cool! Now I don't want to boast or anything here, this is just what happened... There was a man there asking people for spare change. I didn't have any to give him, but I watched as people passed him by... It was interesting to see how people reacted to him... Some shook their heads and shrugged their shoulders saying sorry they didn't have any, some just ignored him, one that was walking towards me I heard mutter under his breath that he should get a job (on a side note, I get really annoyed with people's ignorance... It's not that easy to just get a job when you live on the streets...), but a couple people dropped some change in his cup.

Then I heard the Spirit speak to me, that little voice in my head telling me to go sit with him... Of course, my first reaction was, "you want me to do WHAT???" but it pushed me, "go sit with him, offer him your cookies..." so I went over, I didn't sit but I crouched and asked him if he was hungry and if he wanted my cookies. He said yes and took them and was really thankful. Then I asked when he last had a meal. He said he ate this morning but only a little bit, so I offered to get him something. Oh man, if you could only have seen the way his eyes lit up... He jumped up and smiled and asked if he could have Burger King, so we went to BK.

We chatted a bit, he asked about my hat (I was wearing my S.A. cap) and we talked about the Booth Centre. I bought him what he wanted, and also a bottle of water for him to take with him. He was so grateful, I almost cried... I got myself some onion rings, and we ate together and chatted some more. Then we parted ways.

Overall, my afternoon was really great =)

Monday, May 25, 2009

And Another Great Day! =)

Today was about the greatest day all weekend! =) first of all, because I actually got to enjoy the beautiful sunny 22 degree weather! =D

Okay wait, I'll start at the beginning of my day lol! Weston was great this morning! =D Curtis spoke on the Spirit being like the wind, it was good, God really spoke to me through Curtis... I've been putting off talking to my mom about the house because i'm afraid of getting into an argument with her... I'm scared she might be more against it than I am for it (we can both be really stubborn...) and will keep pushing her point til I give in... But what have I to fear? God has promised that He will provide! And I truly believe that God is sending me to this house, and if that's the case, then He will provide a way for me to get there! I just have to take the steps He lays out for me to follow... And talking with my mom is the next step...

Back on topic here... Lol Berni brought me like 1.5 dozen cookies from her work, half-baked like I requested! =D they were what I asked for for babysitting her son a couple weeks ago... =D so I shared =)

Then at the end of the service, Karen was up with the worship team to help since the cadets were away, and during our "hootenany" (as Rob calls it lol) we did Blessed Be Your Name, which is our fave rock-out song! Aaahhhhh it was so great to do it with Karen again! =D

I went to the Hoeft's after church to celebrate Al's birthday, we had a bbq =) and I was outside ALL DAY enjoying the sunshine! =) with a hat on and drinking water of course! It was HOT out, the UV must've been really high! I think I might've even burned my arms a bit, but I can't tell why exactly they're red, cuz I was scratching them... I guess we'll see in the morning! =)

Then I went to Booth Centre (with a bunch of other Weston worship team peeps), we were there to help Karen lead worship. It was really cool! And at the end I got to sing with Karen AGAIN! =D (I had been sitting in the pew with Georgio, who was doing the Easy Worship) we did Blessed AGAIN, and Days of Elijah! I was so super thrilled! =D

I have been there for a Sunday night service before, but what really hit me tonight was how amazing the attendees are! I mean, many of them are homeless, and addicts, and there they were worshipping God! And we had a time of prayer requests, and there were many that wanted prayer for OTHERS! They were bringing other people in their lives, lifting their names before God and praying for them! I felt so ashamed... How often do I just pray for myself? And yet here were the cast-offs of society, lifting OTHERS up in prayer.

And it hit me: this is the church! These homeless addicts (now i'm not generalising the congregation, or assuming the worst of people, but this is how it was...) were the greatest examples I've seen! Call me crazy, but I wish I was more like them in my prayer time... Father please help me grow closer to You through prayer time with You...