Wednesday, February 29, 2012


I feel like I've come to a point where I need a major change. I'm tired of where I am in life. In my job, in my faith, in my home, in my finances... And the biggest problem is that I can't change most things because of my lack of finances. I feel stuck. In a rut. With no idea what to do to get out.

I have so many big dreams, but with the short-sighted-ness that comes with being only human, I can't see how I'm ever gonna achieve them.

I just feel lost. I feel like I'm missing out on different aspects of life. I miss living with roommates, I miss the relationship I had with my mom when I was little, I miss being in a relationship, I miss the connection I had with God. I do love Jesus, and I do get moments when I feel really close to Him, and I make big decisions based on what He'd want for me because I don't want to regret things later on, but most of time I'm just so disconnected. I don't have that desire to really follow Him. Does that make sense?

And I know there are gonna be people who read this and think, "oh you're still young, life will happen! Things will work out!" Etc etc etc... Yes I know I'm only 24, but I yearn for better things in life, I can't help it! I long to get married, own a house, have a dog, adopt kids, have a garden!

I long to get back into cooking, have my own restaurant where I can create my own menu and cook the dishes and all that... Don't get me wrong here, I do love the kids I work with at the daycare, I'd miss them so much if I did leave, but I just don't want to do that for the rest of my life...

Sigh I don't know... Just a mood I've been in as of late, and I just needed to rant a bit...

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