Monday, September 8, 2014


I grew up a swimmer.

I was in swimming lessons as far back as I can remember.

I LOVED to swim! :)

I loved the feeling of floating.

Splashing around.

Earning my swim badges.

I hated getting out.

It was always so cold in the change rooms.

I remember this one specific day at Sargent Park Pool, after getting out of the water, I just felt miserable because I was so cold.

I wrapped myself in my towel, and I sat on the bench in front of my locker, and I cried.

My mom would usually wait for me outside of the change room for me to come out, but when I wasn't coming out, she came in looking for me.

And found me crying.

She asked me what was wrong. I told her that I was so cold.

She reassured me, that I just had to get dried off, get dressed, and I'll be warm in no time.

I hated having to unwrap my towel, because then the cold air could get at me.

But she was right, and I knew it.

So I towelled off, got dressed, and yeah, I warmed up in no time.

Right now, I kinda feel like I did when I sat there and cried.

I've made the decision to leave my church.

There's a lot of reasons behind it that I'm not gonna get into in this post.

But yesterday was my last Sunday as worship team leader.

I only told a few people - my pastors, the worship team, and a couple people in the church.

This whole experience has felt like my swimming lessons.

You get to the pool, stand at the edge, and jump in.

And it's cold! Kinda takes your breath away for a couple seconds.

But you get used to it, you get your bearings, and you go have fun, learning things along the way.

That's what it was for me. I stood at the edge for a long, long time. Then finally it was time for me to jump in.

And it took me a bit to figure it out, to get my bearings.

But I did, and I had fun with it, learning things along the way.

But, just like swimming lessons, all things must come to an end.

The time has come when the Lord has called me out of the pool, this lesson is over.

And just like at the end of swim time, you gotta put your pool stuff away - any flutter boards, or balls, or life jackets you've used, they need to be set up for the next group to use.

Today I sent Nat - the new team leader - the song list, all the lyrics, and all the PDF files for all the songs in the music library. Got that stuff set up for him to use.

And now I find myself sitting in the locker room, stuck between swimming and the rest of life, just feeling miserable. Knowing that it's time to move on, yet wanting to go back to where it was comfortable and fun, where I knew what I was doing.

And I hate this place.

But, just like my mom came to reassure me, I know that the Lord is reassuring me, telling me that yeah, this moment right now sucks, but I don't just need to wallow here being miserable. I just gotta dry myself off, get dressed, and I'll be warm in no time.

And hey, there's always another swimming lesson next week. ;)

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