I love reading the weekly PostSecret Sunday Secrets. This week, there was an email at the bottom that I thought was just awesome. Here it is:
I was at the PostSecret Event in London. I didn't find the courage to go up to the microphone, but if I had been able to, this is what I would have said.
I spent so long feeling guilty, feeling ashamed of my sadness, and you know what? It just made me sadder. You are allowed to be sad, you are allowed to be angry, you're allowed to be depressed. We all deserve to feel our own sadness in our own time.
Something you will have heard before - you deserve to be happy. That, of course, is not always easy to hear, especially in the depths of depression - so let me add something. You deserve to be happy - but you don't have to be happy right now or all the time.
It is okay to be sad, it's okay to not be ready to be happy yet. One day you will be ready to recover - that day doesn't have to be today or even tomorrow, as long as you know and trust me that it will come.
It's okay not to be okay.
Thanks for everything Frank,
Holly, London
P.S My secret is that I decided last night that I'm ready to recover and it's going to be incredible.
Love it. Not really much else to be said. Thank you Holly =)
Good article, basically saying that whoever comes to The Salvation Army for help, they will get it. Doesn't matter what their colour is, their class, their gender, their sexual orientation, etc.
Within the article is a link to a statement from The Salvation Army Northern Division (Minnesota and North Dakota), their "response to false accusations claiming that The Salvation Army discriminates against the LGBT community and pays lobbyists to fight against their interests."
Within that statement, it says this:
The Salvation Army embraces employees of many different faiths and orientations and abides by all applicable anti-discrimination laws in its hiring.
Mmhmm... So, that's why I was told that I could no longer be hired to run the kids' church at CFOT in-Sundays because I had come out as bisexual? Because CFOT "has a reputation to uphold"? That was the message that was passed along to me through my corps officer at the time.
I understand that at this time of year, The Salvation Army needs people to donate to the kettle campaign, and sometimes people don't want to donate because they hear that TSA discriminates against the LGBT community. Actually, this past Tuesday when I did a kettle shift, there were two people that stopped by and were like, "Didn't you know that The Salvation Army doesn't support gays?" It actually led to a short conversation with the second person, and I was able to share about how I'm openly bisexual and still accepted and actively involved with my corps.
What gets to me is that TSA wants these "rumours" to stop, and yet these "rumours" aren't entirely untrue. Yes, I will agree that TSA will serve everyone who needs help, regardless of sexual orientation (or gender, or colour, etc.) But I will not agree with something that is not true, at least in my experience.
Do I think people should donate to the kettle campaign? Absolutely! I still support TSA. I know there are a lot of programs that run out of my corps, and 80% of funds raised through our kettles comes back to the corps to support those programs. And these are some really great programs that are much needed in the community.
Not sure why, but the audio is really crappy in this one! And the video is terrible, but that's because of a terrible webcam >.< But it's all in sync, yay!!! =D
If you're interested in checking out the IHOP-KC 24/7 prayer room I was talking about, click here!
If you're interested in checking out SHOP that's here in Winnipeg, click here!
If you're wondering what music I had playing in the background, it was my iPod on random, but this is what played:
"I Belong To You" by Superchick (album: Last One Picked)
"You Are Always There" by Stephan LePage (album: Joshua Project - Worship)
"All Men Are Broken" by Misty Edwards (album: Onething Live - Magnificent Obsession)
"Your Grace Still Amazes Me" by Phillips, Craig and Dean (album: Let My Words Be Few)
"Refusing" by Stereotrap (album: Stereotrap)
"I Can Only Imagine" by MercyMe (album: Almost There)
"Small" by Amanda Falk (album: Amanda Falk)
I knew what I was getting into, and I still like you
I knew what I was getting into
He says, for only I can see the end from the beginning
And only I can see where this is going
When you see only your weakness, I see the seeds of righteousness and love in you
I know where you are going
And I am not shocked by your brokenness
I am not disgusted by your humanity
I know you better than that
And I know you even better, even better than you know yourself
Listen, my beloved
I knew what I was getting into when I called you
(And I want you)
I knew what I was getting into when I said your name, but I said it just the same
(You're failure does not surprise me)
I knew what I was getting into and I still like you
(So don't draw back)
I knew what I was getting into
And I have no regrets about calling you, none at all
Cuz only I can see the end from the beginning
And only I can see where this is going
And I see in you real love
When all you see is the struggle, I see the fight
(I see the heart cry)
I see you there on your bed at night
(You long to love me, I see it clearly)
You say, "I really wanna be yours God! I really hate my sin!"
I see you
(And I receive that cry from you)
And I say, all that I'm asking is that you fight the good fight
(And you cry out to me)
I will answer you
(I will help you)
My beloved one
(I do love you more than you know)
You have no idea the way you move me
(You move heart, my beloved ones)
Of all of the world of my Father's house, it doesn't move me
Of all of the nations, they don't move me
But you...
I knew what I was getting into when I called you
I knew what I was getting into when I said your name
(Don't hate yourself, because I love you)
Just be honest, come be real
(Do not despise who you are, because I love you)
I know your frame, I know you are but dust
But I see the gold
(I see the gold in your heart)
I see the strength
I knew what I was getting into when I called you
I knew what I was getting into when I said your name
I said it just the same
Just don't give up, don't give in
If you don't quit, you win, you win
Just don't give up, don't give in
If you don't quit, you win, you win
Cuz everything is in my hands
It's gonna be alright, you're gonna be okay
(If you could see what I see when I look at you, you would rejoice)
Everything is in my hands
It's gonna be alright, you're gonna be okay
(If you could see what I see when I look at you, says the Lord, your hearts would rejoice)
Everything is in my hands
(I have such plans)
It's gonna be alright, you're gonna be okay
(We have a great future together forever, if you could only see)
Just don't, just don't give up, don't give in
If you don't quit, you win, you win
Just don't give up, don't give in
If you don't quit, you win, you win
He's gonna turn it all around, just wait and see
He's gonna make everything beautiful, just in time
He's gonna turn it all around, just wait and see
He's gonna make everything beautiful, just in time
Just don't give up, don't give in
If you don't quit, you win, you win
Just don't give up, don't give in
If you don't quit, you win, you win
Everything is in my hands
It's gonna be alright, you're gonna be okay
It's gonna be alright...
Just fight the good fight
Fight the good fight
Fight the good fight
Fight the good fight
Fight the good fight
And don't give up
Just don't give up, don't give in
If you don't quit, you win, you win
It's all that I'm asking you
Don't give up, don't give in
If you don't quit, you win, you win
He's gonna turn it all around, just wait and see
He's gonna make everything beautiful, just in time
He's gonna turn it all around, just wait and see
He's gonna make everything beautiful, just in time
My friend Alison had a guest post on another blog today (here), and she talked about how she's gone through a "quarter-life crisis." It kinda made something click in my head: I guess you could say that I've been going through a bit of that myself.
A mid-life crisis happens at about 50, and you question things in your life, and want to make changes.
That's what I'm going through now, except I'm only just 25.
I want a change of work...
I think about a change of relationship status (I used to think I'd be married by now...)
I'm unsure about future goals...
That's not to say that I don't like where I am in my life... No, I'm not where I want to be, but it's not terrible here. I love my living situation. I love my roommate. I love the kids I work with at the daycare. I love the relationship I'm currently in.
But I don't want to be at the daycare for 10 years, or even 5. I want to run a kitchen, be the head chef.
I don't want to stay in just a dating relationship. This one's tricky with timing though, and I understand that. Alex and I have only been dating for just over 5 months, so it's really too soon in my opinion to start talking about marriage... But I can't help but think about the future. Can I see myself marrying him? Will I have the same opinion in a year?
There's so much I want to do with my life. But there's not really any clear way to do it. There's always something stopping me or preventing me from moving forward...
And as I write this, the perfect song just played on my iPod...
Oh Jesus, You always have a way of putting things back into perspective......
